Totally crazy LEGO Story.
I was sick and bored. As I'm not able to go to the movies with my honey bun, I decided to make this silly story. (09/22/07)Yeah, I still playing with my LEGOs.
While I was under the drug effects, [ I told you, I was sick, my doctor gave me some drugs to get healthy] I had the crazy idea to make this story. I took almost two days but finally, I was able to finish it. [Fortunately, I didn't die on the process and no LEGOs were hurt in the process of making it]. I hope no one get brain damage after reading it.
The story begins...
Long, Long time ago, approximately in 1890 when some English explorers were looking for hidden wonders...
Explorer: According to this map that I purchased at the flea market, the Totohuac�n's treasure should on this area.
Assistant: It is called Teotihuac�n boss. It's Teo-ti-hu...
Explorer: SHUT UP! You get paid to help me and scare the animals with your face. Even more, you only went to the CONALEP School and you know nothing. Let me see, give me the binoculars
Assistant: Ok, boss. Here it go.
Explorer: Yeah! I see the mayan ruins. Let's go that way.
Explorer: That way!
Assistant: I don't see it, You are pointing no where
Explorer: I'm not pointing. This is a photo-story. Just follow me... Push the red button laika.
EXPLORER: Shut up! Follow me.
EXPLORER: Finally. This pyramid should have treasures inside. This one reminders me the Tehuacan ruins.
ASSISTANT: Is called Teotihuacan boss. Tehuacan is the soda water that mexican police uses to torture and get...
EXPLORER: SHUT UP!
EXPLORER: Look! This is the Chacmol!
ASSISTANT: DANG! It's nice. Jose Pino have lots of imagination to make a chacmol with LEGOs. I wonder how he did it?
EXPLORER: His sister helped him. Anyway, that is not part of the Story. Let's get inside.
EXPLORER: Be sure to bring enough torches to... WHATA...!!! What are you doing using sunglasses? Those are not invented yet!
ASSISTANT: I did purchased it at the flea market. Made in china boss.
EXPLORER: Ok, forget it. Let's get inside. Bring the torches.
EXPLORER: Keep your eyes wide open. Put the torches on the floor, so we can find our way out. Let me show you...
EXPLORER: Give the me torches.
ASSISTANT: You can keep all the torches. I will use my flashlight.
EXPLORER: Flashlight??? It wasn't invented yet! Not even the AA battery.
ASSISTANT: Of course! Made in china. See?
EXPLORER: Let me see...
ASSISTANT: Careful boss! watch out!
EXPLORER: ARGHHHHH My eyebrowns! My eyebrowns!
ASSISTANT: I told you boss.
EXPLORER: SHUT UPPPPPPP!!!!! Give me the flash ligh! grgrrgrr ^$#@! As the mythbuster said; "I'm missing an eyebrown?"
EXPLORER: This place have mineral formations... Maybe we can find treasures like gold, diamonds, pearls, rub...
ASSISTANT: Pearls are not mineral boss. Pearls comes from the os...
EXPLORER: I told you to shut up. What part of "shut up" you didn't get?
ASSISTANT: But... but pearls....
EXPLORER: Forget it. Help me to open that extrange rock.
ASSISTANT: I think we need explosives or tools to open it.
EXPLORER: Just Keep trying...
EXPLORER: hmmm... It's Open! What is this ting inside?
ASSISTANT: I don't know... but I know "THING" is writted with H. T-h-i-n-g.
EXPLORER: Ok Mr know-everything. The keys on my keyboard are kinda sticky. ok?
ASSISTANT: Hey! look boss! that thing is moving! Where is my shootgun?
EXPLORER: Wait, let's see what is this.
ASSISTANT: I'ts a robot! Like the Star Wars movie.
EXPLORER: Don't be silly! George Lucas didn't born yet and the Star Wars movie wasn't released yet.
ASSISTANT: Of course, but I already purchased my illegal Star Wars DVD. Made in china.
EXPLORER: Dang! This thing have a weapon!
ROBOT: I'm coming in peac...
ASSISTANT: What peaches? Take this! [PUM PUM]
EXPLORER: Save yourself! run!
EXPLORER: Oh no! My assistant was transformed in chicken. I need to get help
The explorer was running for a long time. After 2 minutes running, he arrived at the police station (I built the police station next to the pyramid)
EXPLORER: Mr Policeman, I need help, A dangerous robot converted my assistant in a chicken. Please help!
POLICE: Easy... take it easy... I need some sort of "motivation" to be able to assist you.. How much are we talking about?
POLICE: Listen. I'm a Mexican Policeman. I need some motivation to be able to assist. As you can see, with "green" motivation we were able to cath Dr. Octopus and other criminals... So.. How much are we talking about?
EXPLORER: Ok, I understand. Let's talk about it later, right now I need help.
POLICE: Ok, let's go.
EXPLORER: There it is!
ROBOT: I'm coming in pea...
POLICE: Take your peas and go away... eh? Dang! I took my drill instead my gun. I should give it back to my neighbor since long time ago... anyway 'Backup, I need backup, bring the soldiers, the power rangers, batman, spiderman, whatever, but bring backup...'
EXPLORER: Oh no! The policeman now is a chicken. Who is going to help me now?
RED: Anyone called the power rangers? I'm the red one! I was the pink one buy it was kind of gay, so I changer the color and....
EXPLORER: Oh no! Now we have the Chicken Ranger.
BATMAN: I'm Batman.
BATMAN: I'm Batichicken.
SPIDERMAN: Easy robo-chikenizer, I'm the friendly and amazing spiderman. Give me your weapon.
[Ok... Ok, I know this story is getting really dumb. Do you remember I was under the drug effects?]
HARRY POTTER: I'm Harry Potter, No one called me but I came to promote my last book, I need to be sure all the kids at schools can read about magic and dark things but they are not allowed to read about religion... Only in America.
HARRY POTER: Now I'm going to be Chicken Potter.
EXPLORER: Here it is! I told you general, it is converting all humans in chicken.
GENERAL: Good shoot.
SOLDIER: Looks like that robot is history now.
GENERAL: Go to check if the robot is killed Leutenant.
LT: Immediately General. Sargent, go and check.
SARGENT: Immediately Leutenant. Private, go and check.
PRIVATEXPLORER: Immediately Sargent. Explorer, go and check.
EXPLORER: What happens? Earthquake!
SOLDIER: Look! at the top of the pyramid.
SARGENT: What is that?
GENERAL: Open fire! Attack!
CHIN! POW! CUAZ! RATATATATA
EXPLORER: I surrender! don't shoot me. I didn't do it, I'm not a soldier.
ROBOT2: You freed me but I have to take care of you! I'm going to crush you like a tortilla!
EXPLORER: No, no, please no... instead of tortilla, crush me like... burger... egg roll... dang! I can't figure a joke.
ROBOT: Not too fast!
EXPLORER: You saved me! Thank you. Please do not chiken-izer-me
ROBOT: Don't worry. I came in peace. I'm the guardian of that bad robot. We came to the earth thousands of years ago and I keeped it desactivated. Unfortunately, after opening the pyramid you provided the energy and we reactivated again.
EXPLORER: But, if you came in peace, why did you convert all of them in chicken?
ROBOT: Because they attacked me first. Anyway, I don't like Harry Potter neither Power Rangers.
ROBOT: Now, my mission is over. I need to destroy this place and be sure that robot is not going to br working again.
EXPLORER: I better run!
ROBOT: 10... 9... What's next? 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... I should go to school next time. 8... 7... 1...
EXPLORER: Oh no, nobody is going to believe what happen here. How I can demostrate it? here is only ruins and LEGOs everywhere... these LEGO blocks expensive... Only millionaries can buy it as LEGO Group sells it like gold, really expensive... oh well, just LEGOs.
Yeap, I Said: LEGOS.
EXPLORER: What is that??? it is... Can be?
EXPLORER: It's a giant yellow diamond! I'm rich! I'm rich! (Now I can buy LEGOS)
EXPLORER: Ew... What is that strange rock? I wonder if inside of that rock are more diamond or other treasures?
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