Jokes About Kids.

Funny jokes received about children: Swimming Pool Story & The right age for cussing. (10/29/2006)


Swimming Pool Story


[Ring - Ring] ~ [Pick Up]
- "Hello?"
- "Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
- "No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
After a brief pause, Daddy says; "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"
- "Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
Brief Pause.
- "Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down
on the table; run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
- "Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few seconds later the little girl comes back to the phone.
- "I did it Daddy"
- "And what happened honey?" he asked.
- "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
- "Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
- "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"


***Long Pause***


***Longer Pause***


Then Daddy says; "Swimming pool?? Is this 486-5731???"



The Right Age For Cussing.


A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.


- "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say "hell" and you say "a*s"


- "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.


Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast. - "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."


[WHACK!] He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room & shouts,"You can just stay there till I let you out!"


She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old , and asks with a stern voice,"And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?"


- "I don't know," he blubbers,"But you can bet your fat a** it won't be Cheerios."


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